Catadromy

Recently, I was at a major sports event (OK, it was the Rose Bowl).  Events like these tend to attract all sorts of crazies and this was no exception.  As we were walking around the Rose Bowl toward the tunnel to our seats, we passed a youngish person who was handing out pamphlets, encouraging people to find out about Jews For Jesus.  Not only wouldn’t I take one of his pamphlets, I called out ‘Loser’ as we passed him.

The principle tenet, the core belief, of Judaism is that the Messiah has yet to come.  Jews For Jesus believe that the Messiah has already come in the form of Jesus Christ.  Well, you can’t be a Jew and also believe that the Messiah has come.  What these people are, are evangelical Christians, disguised as Jews, talking the language of Jews, in an effort to woo Jews away from Judaism.  And only Jews.  They don’t try this garbage with Christians.

And that’s another thing.  Jews are forbidden from proselytizing.  So this cult is committing two sins, two rather grievous sins.

While I’m discussing Things That Aren’t What They Appear To Be…

I was at Michael’s a while ago, looking for table glitter for a party I was having.  I found what I needed and went up front to the cashier to pay.  There was a line—there always is, especially at Christmas—and there was a person ahead of me.  At the moment, I had a rear view.  From the top down, she was wearing earmuffs made from hot pink bunny fur over long, tangled, curly ash-blonde hair; a black, fur-edged, hooded shearling jacket; an embroidered lace mini-skirt, patterned tights and zebra-striped Uggs.  She was small and thin and looked to be about 14 or 15.  She was certainly dressed as if she was.  I tapped her shoulder and asked if she was on line to check out.

She turned around and it was all I could do to not drop my basket.  She must’ve been at least 70 and she looked ever day of it.  I know that I kept my shock and surprise out of my voice.  I wish I could say the same about my face.

Remember how people used to describe the mullet as ‘business in the front, party in the back’?

How would people describe this person?

I can’t even.